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Ever since I’d been a girl chorister at Gloucester Cathedral, which had been until summer 2022, I had wanted to enter BBC Young Chorister of the Year. It looked like a fabulous experience with plenty of friendships to be made, and an experience in which you learn a great deal about yourself. Little did I know that I would experience just that, and so much more.

One afternoon in late June 2023 I filmed the two pieces, ‘Be Thou My Vision’ by Bob Chilcott and ‘In the Bleak Midwinter’ by Holst, just for fun. I had no idea how far it would get me. I was satisfied with the recordings and submitted them without any expectation. 

Next thing I know I’m off to Manchester with my mum to film a production with hundreds of people and touch elbows with some of the greatest musicians in Britain.

I was living on my nerves but having the most exhilarating time in the process. The constant rushing around of people wearing all black, asking how you are doing and if you needed anything, although the atmosphere was very chilled and relaxed at the same time, with lots of hanging around. We were treated like young stars.

Later in the evening, the first rehearsal of the group song, ‘Do You Hear What I Hear?’, was incredible, and singing with some of the finest young singers in the country was an amazing feeling. What stood out was that we were from all over the country, from Belfast to Guildford.

Before I knew it, it was my rehearsal for the semi-final the next day. Having watched the Junior semi-final in the morning, I did know what to expect, but all the same the feelings of fear were real. Going first made it even worse. During my rehearsal, after nervously eating less than half of my salad, I stepped on stage and onto the circle. That’s when I felt ok. I tried to focus on the warm sunlight entering the top of the church and tried my best to ignore the flying black cameras and screens. The experience can only be described as surreal. And when it came to the real thing, I have to admit I was scared.

An error from the piano in the opening introduction led to a false start, but I had a chance to centre myself, and recover, ready to start again. A second interruption from one of the camera men to the left was more challenging and made me become very unsettled and nervous. Take three: I carried on regardless, singing my heart out.

I admit that I wasn’t initially proud of my performance and thought that it had gone better during the rehearsal, but when Laura Wright, one of the judges, said my top A flat brought a tear to her eye, it made me feel much better. Rev Kate Bottley (one of the presenters) insisted on doing a post-performance interview both after my performance and after it was announced that Gavin and I didn’t get through. The second one was particularly heart breaking, but I held back the tears until after everything was done and managed to babble out something that made sense. Whether it sounded normal or not remains to be seen. I stood on stage like a smiling buffoon as we received the continuous praises from the judges before the inevitable elimination. I didn’t quite know how I reacted on the inside, but I certainly clapped and smiled as the names of my friends were called out as they progressed to the final. Then the pain of rejection set in.

By way of consolation, my parents bought me a huge McDonald’s after the recording! I didn’t have to go through with my Google-informed high protein, high liquid ‘singer’s diet’ anymore. I most certainly deserved it.

Watching the final made me feel a sense of relief. I admit that it was slightly disheartening looking at the BBC Young Chorister spot that I stood on the day before, but I got through it and enjoyed sitting back and relaxing, watching my newly found friends perform, the winners be announced, and later standing up and performing our group song as one big ensemble. The winners excelled on the solo parts at the end.

Oh, and we ran into Aled Jones in Burger King on the way home! He’s now a mate of mine, you know!

Thank you to everyone who supported me in this journey. 

Livvie, UC5 student